Moving from pain to power

We can find our way through by leaning into a love ethic

I’ve been struggling to share much Ackee House stuff lately, particularly because of the amount of pain and cruelty we’re witnessing in the world. It’s been stopping me in my tracks and I don’t want to appear like I’m ignoring the realities of the moment...

But one of the things that’s been helping me (and I hope may help someone else too) is retreating a little from the present and grounding myself in prior works... I’ve been spending a lot of time with stuff from the ‘60s and ‘70s and even a little bit from the ‘90s and early 2000s.

So many great thinkers and artists put out profound, beautiful things that are still deeply relevant (I still recommend that Fela Kuti series). Another thing that came back up for me recently was bell hook’s All About Love. It had been staring at me from my bookshelf for months, and a few weeks ago I finally picked it up again. How timely is this message??

Yesterday, I went down a YouTube rabbit hole of her old talks and it was really something to hear her reflect on her own life… how much of her life showed up in her work and then how much she felt like she got from people applying that work in their lives.

That’s been sitting with me. We have these big moments that feel like THEE opportunities to show up and demand change. But she was really just talking about the everyday… How can we each show up in spaces from a place of love? How can we each live our lives with a love ethic?

Commitment to a love ethic transforms our lives by offering us a different set of values to live by. . . . Living by a love ethic we learn to value loyalty and a commitment to sustained bonds over material advancement. While careers and making money remain important agendas, they never take precedence over valuing and nurturing human life and well-being. . . . Embracing a love ethic means that we utilize all the dimensions of love—“care, commitment, trust, responsibility, respect, and knowledge”—in our everyday lives.

Right now, I know many people feel powerless. But this posture is something that is within each of our control and it’s something each of us has to commit to working on individually.

Taking care of your people. Dropping by to say hi to a friend. Bringing someone flowers. Making the phone call you’ve been thinking about but putting off. Extending grace. Relearning how we should be relating to each other as human beings, because the internet has broken so much of it.

I want to share this interview that really spoke to me, where she talks about moving from pain to power. It’s a call for all of us carrying so much pain and grief. When I walk around and see how many people are suffering, I think about how much we’ve abandoned each other… I’m on the verge of tears most of the time walking around the streets of New York. But I’m focusing on what I can… doing the little things. And all of it feels like it’s in service of my bigger vision: building a space where people can find the joy and the peace that sustains them.

I have a mood board (one of many) for Ackee House that is all about energy and when I shared it was a friend, she pointed out something I hadn’t consciously seen: it’s got many iconic Black women thinkers and artists, and every one of them is experiencing joy in little things.

They’re taking care of themselves… whether that’s in nature, luxuriating in a hotel bed, surrounded by little artifacts they love. I think it was a subconscious reflection of what I hope to create — a space that I’m trying to cultivate for myself to stay sustained. I’m building a place where more of us can come to recharge to get back into the fight.

These are some of my sheroes

I hope this reminds you that we’re all human and even those you look to for strength and inspiration needed to fill their cups too. If you’re like me and also feeling the pain, grief, horror, and deep sadness that comes with bearing witness right now — and the hopelessness of feeling like you can’t stop it — remember that the little things you do in your everyday life to help other people sustain can go a really long way.

Sending so much love and strength to each and every one of you. ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥